Expectations

AL Weddings

Our past experiences in relationships, observations of other couples, and even various forms of media all lend to the expectations we bring into a new romantic relationship. This becomes amplified in marriage, where you are sharing a home and a life along with all the responsibilities that brings. Women seem to be most susceptible to expectation - many of us dream of our wedding, future husband, and baby names before we even become teenagers. We eagerly observe other married couples to gain a glimpse into the magic of glorious matrimony. The checklist for our dream husband grows longer, and we formulate the exact details of how he will propose.

Can a man meet all these expectations?

How will we respond to our future husband if he falls short of our idealized vision?

Tyler and I have been married just over three months. Amazingly, he is so much more than I could have ever dreamt of in a husband. When I was not even thinking about dating, a godly friend suggested a blind date. I figured it would at least make a funny story! Ten months later we became husband and wife.

My relationship with Tyler exceeds so many of my expectations, yet there are times I'm confronted by one of my lofty notions.

I expect him to come home from work full of energy and sweep me off my feet.

I expect him to put his shirt in the dirty clothes hamper, not beside it.

I expect him to constantly want my companionship and never need alone time.

I expect him to want to watch the newest sappy love movie.

Some of these are sillier than others, but these are just a few examples of thoughts that can eventually jeopardize a relationship. The enemy wants to use these opportunities to leave us silent and frustrated, alienated from those we love because of unrealized expectations.

I am slowly learning to spot my expectations in action and destroy them at the root. When expectation rears its ugly head, I remind myself that Tyler is doing the best he can. He is a good and loving husband who leads me so well. Whatever I'm expecting is trivial, and I will instead rejoice in the husband that I have. He was crafted by God as my life companion, and we can talk about whatever I am feeling. What a good gift!!

For those of you not in a relationship, I don't want you to receive the message that you should settle. As I mentioned earlier, God gave me a husband who surpassed my wildest imagination. All I am asking is that you examine the expectations you have for your husband. In this social media driven world, we can get caught up in the Instagram worthy while forgetting the beauty of the spontaneous and even the messy.

Let's celebrate what we have and stop placing expectations on others. Thank you, God, for the good and perfect gifts you have already given us.