Jars of Clay

Sometimes I crumble. The perfectly placed pieces come tumbling down. An ugly word lashes out. My thoughts are filled with hatred, pride, and envy. I feel as if I am acting. I want to be good, yet I fail. My past mistakes rise up out of the mire. There are many memories that bring shame. Suddenly I feel wayward, false. I hear the accuser and his hateful words. I come undone. I am a sham. I cannot possibly be used. All will see the fraud I am.

A light shines through my surrounding darkness.

His pleasure is aimed at me. My Daddy calls me to arise. I am no longer broken. He wraps me in holiness and calls me righteous. He calls good things out from me. He guides me and partners with me. He calls me beloved. My very mistakes become a beautiful testimony of His lavish grace. I am whole in Him. I am His daughter, with whom He is pleased. I no longer feel the need to perform. Instead, I simply submit to His unfailing love. It is a daily process. I become more like Him.

When I stumble, He forgives. I turn to Him. He leads me through green valleys and by quiet streams. In the dark places, He is with me. He holds my hand and guides me. I am loved.

I do not write because I have mastered anything. I write because He is working in me and revealing Himself to me in new ways. I want to be open and honest about who I am. He is the potter and I am the clay. It is a joy to be molded by Him. And sometimes the lessons are hard. I complain and grow weary, but He refreshes me. I am astounded by His continual grace towards me. He gives me friendship and comfort, love and compassion. He is giving me life, so I write.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

2 Corinthians 4:7-9